Plan a Girlfriend Getaway
2/3/2009
by Amy Buchanan
When my girlfriends and I get together, the same themes always seem to emerge.
We’re tired and overworked. We have too much to do when all we really want to do is have some. (And maybe sleep for an entire weekend. Or even better, an entire week.)
We’ve talked about pie-in-the-sky dreams: sabbaticals from our jobs, spending the summer at the beach, pursuing the elusive “four-hour workweek.” But in our real lives, there’s little room to make these dreams reality.
But that doesn’t mean we can’t have a taste of the fun (and freedom) that we all crave.
My mother is of the generation that doesn’t believe women should need or want a break from their families. But I’ve decided that times have changed – for the better – and I’m not going to feel guilty about taking time for myself. None of us should. We’re better mothers for it, and I’d also argue that our husbands become better fathers when they have to shoulder the full burden of motherhood, if even for a weekend.
That’s why I recently arranged a long weekend getaway with my gal pals.
When I sent out the email inviting four friends to join me for a weekend away at my in-laws’ mountain house, I expected to hear lots of excuses. But within minutes – five minutes, tops – I’d heard back from three of my friends with exuberant yeses. (The fourth, unfortunately, couldn’t join us because of a scheduling conflict.)
Like me, my friends were all desperate to get away and recharge.
“I’m in. Sounds grand,” Margaret wrote.
“I so needed this,” Alex told me.
“Girl, you’ve read my mind!” Debbie exclaimed.
I never knew corralling a bunch of women could be so easy. And I never realized that they were feeling as stressed out and fun- and freedom-deprived as I was. That we all needed this getaway made planning our long weekend away quite easy.
We quickly agreed to cut out of work early on a Friday and return at our leisure the following Monday. Those of us with children would leave caretaking chores to our husbands, without guilt or regret. And none of us were willing to let work get in the way of our good time.
In the spirit of a “retreat,” we resisted over-planning our weekend – something women, in general, and this group of friends of mine, in particular, can be guilty of. We planned one day at a day spa and another at a local casino. (What can I say? We enjoy playing the slots, but only when we’re winning.)
We made sure to avoid rigid schedules, and we were easygoing when it came to deciding when we’d eat and where. We didn’t cook at all, except for one morning when Margaret (who is single and doesn’t consider cooking a chore) made waffles. We lingered over coffee at a local café. We drank wine and cocktails and slept uninterrupted by children, pets, husbands or alarm clocks. We lost ourselves in novels and watched chick flicks without anyone complaining. We sipped coffee on the front porch and watched the sunset from the same vantage. We relaxed.
From my point-of-view, this weekend away was what I’d been craving for months. I returned home relaxed, patient and feeling better about my life and myself. In fact, from the moment we started planning our getaway, I felt my stress melting. For weeks leading up to the trip, I felt on a more even keel. Things that would have bothered me before didn’t bother me anymore.
Cheerios dumped on the floor. No problem.
A pile of wrinkled clothes in the laundry room. No problem.
Too many things on the to-do list. No problem.
Our inaugural spa retreat was such a success that we’re thinking of making it an annual tradition. And I’m beginning to wonder if those dreams I mentioned before – a sabbatical, a summer break, and a four-hour workweek – might be achievable, as well. I’m certainly reordering my to-do list to include more time for fun by myself, with my family and with my friends.
I can already feel the stress and worries melting away.
Planning a Stress-Free Girlfriend Getaway
If you’d like to plan a relaxing retreat with your friends, keep these things in mind:
- Instead of asking your friends to tell you when they’re free, give them the choice of two or three weekends. Most people will find a way to make a weekend work if they really want to go on a retreat, but if you leave things open-ended, you may never end up taking your trip.
- Consider renting a house or staying at someone’s vacation home so everyone can have her own room.
- Keep the gathering small, no more than four or five friends.
- Plan at least one outing together, such as a trip to a day spa, but leave other time free so you and your friends can do what you each want to do.
- Don’t be offended if your friends want to spend time alone. Most women are at someone else’s beck-and-call 24/7, so alone time is a real treat.
- Only invite friends who can get along with one another. You don’t want the stress of infighting during your retreat.
- Avoid over packing. This isn’t a family vacation, where you have to pack for every contingency. Take only what you really need and leave the rest at home. If you forget something, you can do without for a few days or buy what you need at your destination.
- Let other people pamper you and tend to your needs. Women do a lot for other people; this is your chance to let other people do for you.
- Forget about cooking and doing the dishes. Choose restaurants where you couldn’t take your kids and places your spouse wouldn’t go.
- Indulge your mind and your creativity. Bring along a book, a sketchpad or that craft project you’ve wanted to finish forever and spend some time working on it.
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Djuana
10/21/2009 3:37:38 PM
That's awesome! Thanks for sharing that this is an obtainable goal for us all.
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