Create a Ritual
2/2/2009
by Amy Buchanan
During the holidays, many of us participate in family traditions and rituals that help make the season even more special and meaningful. For many of us, our fondest memories are entwined in these traditions. We feel closest to our friends, our families and ourselves when carrying out these familiar rituals. To abandon these rituals would be unthinkable.
But how many of us practice rituals in our daily lives? The Take Care Project’s mission is to encourage women to care of themselves by taking time for themselves. Establishing a daily ritual is the perfect way to start down that path.
Vianesa Vargas, the founder of The Take Care Project and a busy mom of a toddler and an infant, allows herself time each morning to reflect on her life. Vargas sits at the end of her bed and meditates and prays for a few moments before starting her day.
Vargas says that her morning ritual makes for a calm start to her days, which can quickly turn hectic with the demands of motherhood and a full-time military career. These contemplative moments provide Vargas time to reflect on her blessings and think about her goals.
In creating your own daily ritual, you may want to borrow some ideas from Vargas. Or you may find that a different kind of ritual suits you better. The key is to find a ritual you enjoy and that is meaningful. It should also fit your schedule and enhance your life. If you look upon a ritual as yet another chore, then it’s obviously not working.
Though your ritual may require you to do the same thing every day, repetition by itself doesn’t equal ritual. Contemplation is another key element.
“When repetition occurs in everyday activities without thought or feeling, it may become boring… But when we find some meaningful activity and repeat it in a context of emotion, the repetition can lift us out of that same dreariness,” author Rachel Pollack writes in her book, The Power of Ritual. “Ritual is about connections and openings. It connects us to each other, to nature, to the cycles and rhythms of life. It opens our hearts to love and to intense emotion – sadness and longing as well as joy. And it opens a space for what we call the sacred, or spirituality, to enter our lives.”
Don’t know how to begin your own daily ritual? Consider these suggestions:
Take tea: Follow the example of the English and brew yourself a pot of tea every day. Imbue the experience with ceremony. Drink from a china teacup and use real silverware. Find a quiet, relaxing place away from everyone else and savor the tea and the solitude. As you sip, allow yourself to relax and enjoy the moment. Don’t let worries or chores interrupt teatime. Give yourself these few moments.
Explore Tai Chi: An ancient form of Chinese martial arts, Tai Chi is known for its slow, deliberate movements. Though you may practice Tai Chi with a group, this form of exercise is very inward focused, much like yoga. The goal is to achieve mental calm and clarity by focusing your mind on the movements of your body.
Indulge in a bubble bath: Few things are as relaxing as soaking in a warm tubful of bubbles. But most busy women view a good soak as an indulgence, not something to be enjoyed every day. But a bubble bath can be the perfect ritual. Close your eyes, breath deeply and slide into the bubbles – instant relaxation. Candles, soft music and luxurious bath products can make this ritual even more special and indulgent.
Family Bonding: Though many moms use their rituals to get some precious alone time, there’s no reason you can’t involve people you love in your rituals. An evening walk with the family can become a great spirit-renewing ritual if you use the time to enjoy nature, your loved ones and the exercise in a meaningful way.
Playtime: Yes, it is possible to create a ritual around playtime with the kids. With all the responsibilities that moms have, it’s easy to become distracted while playing with our children. Next time, rather than trying to multitask and go through your mental to-do list, focus on playing and having fun. Relish your child’s laughter as you push her on the swing set and focus on how wonderful that particular moment is. Who wouldn’t want to repeat that joy daily?
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